How to Cope with the Baby Blues

Becoming a mother can be an emotionally overwhelming experience. After months of anticipation, you meet your baby for the first time, so it’s natural to feel joy, excitement, exhaustion, and relief.

It’s also normal to feel other strong emotions, including sadness, anxiety, and even irritability. Pregnancy and childbirth create chemical highs and afterward, natural changes and fluctuations in hormones can affect new mothers’ emotional states. And these changes can come without warning—you might be riding a wave of love for your new baby and in the next minute be weeping.

We don’t talk about these kinds of feelings much, but we should. It’s important to normalize the full range of emotions we experience as humans. Although it has taken so much from the last 18 months, the pandemic has brought mental health to the forefront of many conversations at work, school, and home. Understanding and addressing the baby blues and postpartum depression can be part of this movement toward better mental health.

What are the baby blues?

The “baby blues” refer to a temporary psychological state that new mothers experience after childbirth. They can appear days or even weeks afterward and are often the result of hormonal changes as well as the bleary exhaustion of having a newborn.

Mothers might feel a range of things, including:

• Difficulty adjusting to motherhood—the reality can be very different from what you imagined
• Irritability at your partner, other children, pets, or even friends
• Sudden bouts of crying
• Anxiety and insomnia
• Feelings of loss and more

These feelings are all normal and are a common experience for many mothers, even those who have already had children. In fact, it’s estimated that 80% of new mothers feel the baby blues. 

What is postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression is the onset of moderate to severe depression after childbirth that may interfere with your ability to care for yourself and your baby. Typically, the symptoms are more extreme than the baby blues. Mothers experiencing postpartum depression may have:

• Feelings of isolation, sadness, or hopelessness
• Dramatic mood swings
• Difficulty bonding with or responding to their baby
• Changes in appetite
• Difficulty concentrating or remembering details
• Anger and resentment toward their partner or baby

Postpartum depression may affect 10 to 20% of new mothers. Women can experience it after having a second or subsequent child, even if they did not with their first.  

Do female animals experience postpartum depression?

While we can’t know for sure what animals experience, scientific research can help us understand that there are hormonal changes, which are of course at the root of our human experience of baby blues and postpartum depression. Scientists have studied rats and mice and found signs of stress like poor nursing and changing hormone levels. In addition, dogs can experience signs of postpartum depression, including loss of interest in their puppies, changes in appetite, and aggression. We human mothers are not alone.

Can fathers experience baby blues and postpartum depression?

Yes. Although most research on baby blues and postpartum depression has focused on mothers, recent studies on the condition in fathers have revealed that as many as ten percent of new dads experience some form of postpartum hormonal changes. These may be in response to the mother’s psychological state, or they may be related to fluctuations in testosterone. In fact, studies have found that testosterone decreases in fathers across the animal kingdom, especially in those species in which both parents care for the young. Researchers have followed species including Mongolian gerbils, California mice, and cotton-top tamarins.

How to cope with the baby blues

There are many ways to cope naturally with the baby blues. First, recognize that the condition is temporary. As your hormones regulate following childbirth, the baby blues may stop as suddenly as they started.

Other ways to cope include:

• Getting enough rest. This is, of course, challenging with a newborn, especially when you’re breastfeeding. Rest when the baby does and take turns with your partner. Remember, even a very short power nap can help to recharge your batteries.
• Fresh air and sunlight. Nature is the ultimate mood-lifter, so make time to get outside and fill your senses with the great outdoors.
• Asking for help. New mothers often feel pressure to do it all. Delegate to your partner, family, or friends as much as possible. Your job is to bond with and nurture the baby.
• Talking with friends. It’s been difficult to socialize over the long months of the pandemic, and it can be challenging to do so with a new baby—but make time to connect with friends and share what you’re going through. Experienced mothers can help give perspective.
• Eating well. Nourish your body with healthy foods, including the rainbow of colourful produce, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Growing and nourishing a baby take a lot from our bodies. Be sure to also drink plenty of water and other hydrating fluids, especially if you’re nursing.
• Giving yourself grace. Remember that this is a season, and it too shall pass.
• Surrounding yourself with soothing colours and patterns. Our environment can give us mood cues. Dress in colours and patterns you love and do the same for your baby. Look for cheerful prints like our new muslin swaddles.

When to get help

It can be difficult to know exactly when the baby blues become postpartum depression. Seek help if your mood is affecting your daily life and your ability to bond with and care for your newborn, or if you are fearful of harming your baby or yourself.

If you’re worried for yourself or a new mother you know and love, reach out. Only a healthcare provider can diagnose postpartum depression and put in place a course of treatment. Many obstetricians and pediatricians screen new mothers for signs of postpartum depression at follow-up visits, and other resources such as lactation nurses, can offer help.